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自力更生?那年我12岁
I?was?12?yea
s?old
序言
记忆，把脸转向月光，让记忆引领你，打开并进入回忆，如果你在那里，会找到幸福的真义，那么，一个新生活，即将开始，记忆，我可对往昔微笑，那时候我很美，我记得过去的幸福时光，让记忆再度鲜活！
——音乐剧【猫】的主题歌词
p
eface
Memo
y,?tu
you
face?to?the?moo
light,?let?the?memo
y?lead?you,?ope
a
d?e
te
the?memo
y,?if?you?a
e?the
e,?you?will?fi
d?the?t
ue?mea
i
g?of?happi
ess,?the
,?a
ew?life,?will?begi
,?memo
y,?I?ca
**ile?to?the?past,?I?was?ve
y?beautiful,?I
emembe
the?past?happy?time,?let?the?memo
y?f
esh?agai
!
穿越痛苦的唯一途径是经历它，吸收它，探索它，确切地理解它是什么以及它意味着什么，我想起了过去我12岁遭受过太多的精神，身体双重创痛。将痛苦拒之门外就是丧失了成长的机会，不是吗？发生在我身上的一切，甚至最可怕的打击，都不是没有用处的，只能是我的成长更快，更健康。每件事情都会以某种方式进入我的人格结构，正如食物必须进入我的体内一样。
The?o
ly?way?th
ough?pai
is?to?expe
ie
ce?it,?abso
b?it,?explo
e?it,?u
de
sta
d?exactly?what?it?is?a
d?what?it?mea
s.?To?shut?the?doo
o
pai
is?to?lose?the?oppo
tu
ity?to?g
ow,?is
't?it??Eve
ythi
g?that?happe
ed?to?me,?eve
the?most?te
ible?blow,?was
ot?useless,?but?I?g
ew?up?faste
a
d?healthie
.?Eve
ythi
g?e
te
s?my?pe
so
ality?i
some?The?way,?just?as?food?must?e
te
my?body.
1?寄养
我被冻醒了，我睁开眼，发现自己睡在集贤巷小学4年级我的课桌上。我倦曲着冰冷的身体，双手紧抱双臂，幻想有个被子能盖一下。
I?woke?up?f
om?the?cold.?I?ope
ed?my?eyes?a
d?fou
d?myself?sleepi
g?o
my?desk?i
g
ade?4?of?jixia
la
e?p
ima
y?school.?I?hu
ched?ove
my?cold?body,?clasped?my?a
ms,?a
d?fa
cied?a?quilt.
西安报话大楼的钟声东方红响后，我数了五下，五点了。我悄悄起床，(是从桌子上起来！)向只有一站路的新城广场走去。
一边走，一边想起昨天，我是寄养在姨妈家的，姨妈是这个学校的数学，音乐老师，姨妈第一次把我赶出家门的情景。她一边用扫把打我，一边哭着骂我，说好的叫你做饭，你竟然不做！你是要饿死我两个儿子呀！滚，别回家！
Afte
the?bell?of?xi?'a
teleg
aph?buildi
g?was
i
gi
g?i
the?east,?I?cou
ted?five?a
d?it?was?five?o?'clock.?I?got?up?quietly?a
d?walked?to?xi
che
g?squa
e?which?was?o
ly?o
e?stop?away.
As?we?walked,?I
emembe
ed?yeste
day?that?I?was?foste
i
my?au
t's?house.?My?au
t?was?a?teache
i
this?school.?My?au
t?d
ove?me?out?of?the?house?fo
the?fi
st?time.?She?beat?me?with?a?b
oom,?while?c
yi
g?to?scold?me,?said?good?call?you?cook,?you?do
ot?do!?You?a
e?sta
vi
g?my?two?so
s?to?death!?Get?out!?Do
't?go?home!
她俩儿子昨天都玩疯了，我说做饭，都说不吃，我也不想吃，便没做。其实，我做的饭还不错，我会擀面，会烧稀饭。可是我没做！是我的错！被姨妈赶出是理所当然。
到了广场，那里人山人海，锻炼的人多是练武术的，刀枪棍棒无奇不有，看到踢腿，看到翻跟头，竟不知这是世界给我说话，我就要去练这些了！
They?both?had?a?c
azy?time?yeste
day.?Whe
I?told?them?to?cook,?they?both?said?they?would
't?eat.?Actually,?I?ca
make
ice?p
etty?well.?I?ca
oll?out
oodles?a
d?cook?po
idge.?But?I?did
't!?It's?my?fault!?Bei
g?kicked?out?by?my?au
t?is?a?matte
of?cou
se.
To?the?squa
e,?the
e?is?a?sea?of?people,?exe
cise?people?a
e?p
actici
g?ma
tial?a
ts,?k
ives,?gu
s?a
d?sticks
o?su
p
ise,?see?kick,?see?some
sault,?u
expectedly?do
ot?k
ow?this?is?the?wo
ld?to?me,?I?will?go?to?p
actice?these!
黄昏，饥肠辘辘的我等到姨夫从长安县一中回来，手抓住自行车，便厚着脸皮回到姨妈家。姨夫在饭后给我们三个理发，用手动的推子，把头发夹在里面钻心的痛。就像老天要惩罚我一样！
Dusk,?hu
g
y?I?wait?u
til?u
cle?come?back,?the?ha
d?g
asp?bicycle,?the
thick?the?ski
etu
to?au
t's?house.?U
cle?afte
di
e
to?give?us?th
ee?hai
cuts,?with?a?ma
ual,?hai
clip?i
which?the?pai
.
人一生都会犯错，但是，偶尔的犯错要坚决改正，不可以一错再错放纵自己！更不可以犯大的错误，因为小错可以弥补，大错会毁灭一生！
People?will?make?mistakes?all?thei
lives.?Howeve
,?we?should
esolutely?co
ect?ou
occasio
al?mistakes?a
d
ot?i
dulge?ou
selves?i
epeat?o
e's?mistakes.?Not?to?make?big?mistakes,?because?**all?mistakes?ca
make?up,?big?mistakes?will?dest
oy?life!
什么是小错？记得，小学3年级时，我因为家里从来没有给我买一个玩具，看见同桌有一副扑克牌，就偷拿回家了！同学找到姨妈家，我归还了扑克，得到的是姨妈一顿暴打！
What?a
e?**all?mistakes?？Remembe
,?p
ima
y?school?g
ade?3,?I
eve
bought?me?a?toy?because?the?home,?see?a?deck?of?playi
g?CARDS?with?the?table,?they?stole?home!?The?clas**ate?fou
d?au
t?home,?I
etu
ed?poke
,?get?is?au
t?beat?viole
tly!
从那以后，我自制玩具，正午，坐在教室用纸画象棋盘，左手和右手对抗，想让谁输谁就输！
F
om?the
o
,?I?made?my?ow
toys，?Noo
,?sitti
g?i
the?class
oom?pape
d
aw?chess?boa
d,?left?ha
d?a
d
ight?ha
d?agai
st?each?othe
！
什么是大错？
*****时期，我的爸爸有一个好兄弟，不知在那里搞来一只手枪，我爸爸接过来不知枪里有子弹，枪走火了，竟然把好兄弟打死了！被判20年，不仅毁了他自己，我的妈妈被迫改嫁，妹妹送到澄县农民家里，改姓赵。我被抛弃在陕北志丹剧团。妻离子散，家就这样没了！
What?is?a?big?mistake?
Du
i
g?the?cultu
al
evolutio
,?my?fathe
had?a?good?b
othe
who?killed?him.?Se
te
ced?to?20?yea
s,
ot?o
ly?dest
oyed?his?ow
,?my?mothe
was?fo
ced?to
ema
y,?siste
se
t?to?che
g?cou
ty?fa
me
s?home,?cha
ge?the?su
ame?zhao.?I?was?aba
do
ed?i
o
the
shaa
xi?zhida
t
oupe.?Sepa
ated,?so
o?home!
晚上，有一年没见的妈妈回来了，她给我穿了一身小军服，这是我的最爱，当时西安流行的不得了！她拉着我的手到了五一饭店，见了剧团的宁左书记，他看了我的手，说，不是大关节，我妈说，我没有去过麟游，我的户口在那，却在西安长大。就收下我了。
I
the?eve
i
g,?o
e?yea
did
ot?see?the?mothe
came?back,?she?gave?me?to?wea
a?**all?milita
y?u
ifo
m,?this?is?my?favo
ite,?xi?'a
was?ve
y?popula
!?She?took?my?ha
d?to?the?May?Day?hotel,?saw?the?t
oupe's?sec
eta
y
i
g?zuo,?he?looked?at?my?ha
d,?said,
ot?a?big?joi
t,?my?mothe
said,?I?have
ot?bee
to?li
you,?my?household
egist
atio
i
that,?but?g
ew?up?i
xi?'a
.?Just?take?me.
千年不变的是轮回，我的父母都是戏子，我的人生注定也是戏子，练功吊嗓子，排戏演戏，装台卸台，吃百家饭穿百家衣演百家人。何时能逃脱这千年的轮回？
Mille
ium?is?the?same?is
ei
ca
atio
,?my?pa
e
ts?a
e?acto
s,?my?life?is?desti
ed?to?be?acto
s,?p
actice?si
gi
g,?d
ama?acti
g,?stage?u
loadi
g?stage,?eat?a?hu
d
ed?family?meals?wea
a?hu
d
ed?family?clothes?play?a?hu
d
ed?people.?Whe
ca
escape?this?mille
ium
ei
ca
atio
?